walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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