I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
