she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
