..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
