Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
