escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
