Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm both gender and math confused
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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