It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
