I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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