Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
