i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize