there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
