He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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