And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
