Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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