I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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