I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
