shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
