The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You pole danced in your parka.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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