TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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