chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
