My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
whose ass print is on the piano?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
