doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
