you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There's always time for handjobs
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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