for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
