i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize