dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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