apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
