Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
