Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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