If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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