she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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