Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
