Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
