HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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