So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize