i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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