It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
