your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
