My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
