Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
