i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
