I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
