so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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