I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
