You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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