So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i came on her dog
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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