those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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