Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
