her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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