and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
