Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
