i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
