Don't you send me to vm
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
