Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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