that's an acceptable place to lick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I forget how to act sober
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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