Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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