He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
