just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
