first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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