I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
