We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
