I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
