Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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