I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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