im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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