ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
as a side note pls kill me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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