...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you made out with another girl for some wings
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
