My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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