I wish life had little blips of pornography
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
